Gaslighting
They insist that what you saw or heard didn't happen, until you doubt yourself.
The first tell
You feel doubtful of your own mind. That feeling arrives before you can name the move.
What it sounds like
You heard a roommate agree to split a bill. Later they say: That conversation never happened. You imagine things.
Say back
I know what I heard. We remember it differently.
If they push
You really should get your memory checked.
I'm not going to debate my memory. From now on we put agreements in writing.
How this family is disarmed
Hold to the record. Refuse to debate your own experience.
If this is a pattern with someone close to you, and you feel afraid or controlled, a better comeback isn't the fix. Read when to stop arguing and where to get help.
See it in dating and at work
Context packs show this tactic in the settings where it does the most damage, and let you drill it against a timer.