Attacks you personally

Tone policing

They object to how you said it so they can skip what you said.

The first tell

You feel shushed. That feeling arrives before you can name the move.

What it sounds like

You say firmly that a refund is overdue. The rep says: I can't help you if you're going to be aggressive.

Say back

I'll keep my voice level. The refund is still overdue.

If they push

There's that tone again.

Tone aside, when will the refund arrive?

How this family is disarmed

Separate the person from the point, then return to the point.

See it in dating and at work

Context packs show this tactic in the settings where it does the most damage, and let you drill it against a timer.

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