Attacks your feelings and bonds
Triangulation
They bring in a third person to compare you with or to side against you.
The first tell
You feel in competition. That feeling arrives before you can name the move.
What it sounds like
A parent says: Your brother calls every day. I don't know why you can't.
Say back
I'm not competing with him. Let's talk about you and me.
If they push
I'm only saying he makes the effort.
Tell me what you'd like from me, without him in it.
How this family is disarmed
Weigh actions over words and keep your own pace.
Paid
See it in dating and at work
Context packs show this tactic in the settings where it does the most damage, and let you drill it against a timer.
Related tactics
- Love bombingIntense affection arrives very fast, before trust has had time to form.
- Guilt-trippingThey make you feel like a bad person for saying no.
- NeggingA put-down dressed as a compliment, meant to make you seek their approval.
- Future fakingBig promises about later are used to get what they want now.